what's been said, while on-the-go

0910 after my Good & Evil class
Derived from Oedipus the King,
having just recently learned on my own,
the class receives a similar lesson learned.
Reassuring to know that someone else has come to the same conclusion.
That... nothing in life is safe. As abrupt as the swift flip of a coin is, nothing remains consistently the same.
The unexpected, the unknown is not yours - out of your hands, uncontrollable. Living in utter, absolute bliss. At the peak of Mount Everest,
there you stand victoriously,
obliviously unaware of the events the next moments will soon bring.


0912
Crossing paths.
Crossing minds.
Moments for two.
Blinking images of yesterday.
Deja vu. Deja vu.
Filled empty spaces with polluted ideas.
Clean air far too long absent.
The flow of thought reaching U-turns and dead ends.
No where else to go but here,
Signs are lacking indication of direction.
My compass is dysfunctional.


0918
It is quiet. I sit here alone with my thoughts
and the distant sounds
made here,
near and far.

Concentrating on
the inner me
...the outer you.

But I know I am finished.
Now it is just a matter of completing the finished.
By completing, I mean leaving
the finished
completed.

Giving what I have left over on my plate
the title of
"left overs."

And being unwanted,
I now dispose of it.

middle ground does not exist

just wishing the puzzle pieces fit
stuck, forced living in two colliding worlds
there is no middle ground
one or the other
you must choose
longing for
understanding
within myself
understanding
beyond what i already know
yearning for
understanding
from your minds to mine
a connection that exists for the purpose of linking our thoughts as one
on one path that leads to one destination of peace and serenity
as one body
one entity
if only there were such thing

a glimpse into my soul

free association writing

09.08.08 - 2:20pm; in this foreign place, nothing is certain. EVERYTHING is UNcertain. several steps taken to reach this destination. i question my sweat and exhaustion's worth.

i feel the sun's heat beating on my back, the breeze pushing with power, as if it were speaking to me. attempting to convey its message with the strength of each blow. a foreign language I cannot understand.

5:49pm; I sit here, discovering that the wait after all is not over. discovering that the wait will probably never be over. as said before, as one chapter concludes, a new one will begin. there are only transitions. intervals that make one feel like there is no more waiting left to do. periods of time which leads and deceives one's mind into a mural of artificial colours.
the wait continues and will continue to resume until life itself comes to an end. each chapter is another test.
the wait is only over when one passes every.test.there.is.to.pass.

Overwhelmed but not yet drowning. In unanticipated problems that probably could not have been averted. Dragging them down through her honesty.
With her face in plain sight. Unmasked and raw.
She speaks.
They listen.
with welcoming ears in awe.
Through the pecking stress
she realizes how
blessed she is
nonetheless.
Awake, with eye lids lifted high.
She does not fight alone.
Rather, the unexpected is faced along with thieves who steal her fear. Forcing upon her confidence,
Energy illuminating positivity.
The buzz of pain is exactly what she wants and needs.
But living only on the surface prohibits her from understanding this.

sinking memories.
temporarily buried?
the overflowing cup is now draining.
faint and indistinguishable,
have traveled so far
that the starting point is a muffled blur.
now the ultimate destination
awaits behind this closed door,
expectantly and patiently.

so i wait for time
to signal
the turn of the key,
the twist of the knob,
the push that God has granted so graciously,
to open the door,
and let my feet
take its final steps,
towards what is destined to be.

it is here.

the new season has arrived
still warm in transition, the sun shines bright
nonetheless, here now is the fresh wave
the moment you've been longing for
savoring the feeling
feeling the healing
at last, it has arrived.